Dear An American Tail:

It's amazing that after all these years, you can still choke me up. I choose to ignore your horrible stereotypes and instead sob like a little girl.

Somewhere out there, indeed.

*actualsmooches*  Jenn

Dear The Blind Side:

Stop making me cry like a hormonal beyotch.

*smooches* Jenn

Dear Spider Who Lived in My Basement:

That's right. I effing killed you.  I know you think that you and your 10,000 friends really enjoy living in my basement. I know it's dark and offers many places for you all to live. But I SWEAR TO EFFING GOD, I will kill every freaking last one of you. 

I won't hunt you down...but if you're dumb enough to stand in front of me, I'll have Sean give me a flip flop and I'll BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD.

And I'll leave your nasty carcass out so your stupid effing spider friends will KNOW and FEAR me.

*smooches motherfucker*  Jenn